(I will be away from the computer for the month of August. Be back in September!)

"You cannot stay on the summit forever; you have to come down again... So why bother in the first place? Just this: What is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above. One climbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art to conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up. When one can no longer see, one can at least still know."

-- Rene Daumal

A swelteringly hot day today, which means the studio is like a sauna. Went in early to catch what I could of the cooler morning air. Was wanting to do a larger full-face (half life size) sculpt in the water clay, but with the heat and the need for the fan it would have meant too much hassle trying to keep that much clay moist and workable, so I did another quickie smaller face. I like incorporating realism in these works in the form of roughly proper planes and subtle details, but don't want so much perfect realism that it covers up those fingerprints of the unconscious. Still, I feel I'm lacking a good working knowledge of the structure of the eyes. Struggled with that most again in this face, just like all the others. Something I'll continue to work on --

Put some finish wax on the blue patina'd mouth this morning and while I was buffing it out it rubbed off some of the blue, revealing the warm copper tones underneath. *Nice* --

Played around with that little waxed clay face again, this time setting it on a recent texture piece. Some potential here, I think. Kinda speaks to me --

Didn't work in the studio today, but met a friend there so I was able to pull this piece from the fuming container. Twenty four hours in the fumes left this nice blue patina. Here's a photo next to the enameled piece from yesterday --

Almost didn't get a blog entry today, even though I spent several hours at the studio. I worked very hard for several hours doing *crap*. No, seriously. I don't even want to go into what I spent my time doing. Couldn't bring myself to take any pictures of it, either. But toward the end of the session I switched gears and did a couple more of those molded copper mouth pieces, hoping to replicate the one I ruined yesterday. I've got one in the fuming container right now and the other I played around with the enamels on it. Sifted it on thick and blasted it with the torch. It turned out just "not bad" enough to warrant a photo. Definitely something that deserves more exploration --

messy messy studio! bad-bad-bad! Not a lot of time to hang out today, so I cleaned the place up. But I just couldn't resist futzing with that copper lip piece from yesterday. The one with the patina from heating (the reds) and fuming (the greens). When I fumed it the reds were diminished somewhat and I was hoping I could get them to pop again if I heated the piece one more time. BUT, no dice. As the copper heated up, all those wonderful green specks disappeared! So it's back into the fuming container, hoping to get some green to return. Lesson learned :)

Now that the textured panels have dried I can start painting. It's all a learning process at this point. Trying to figure out what works and what doesn't. And (as always) trying to minimize as much as possible any evidence of human manipulation (like brush marks!), while at the same time move the piece toward something that has a certain "visual pop". Here's the current incarnation of one of the textured panels --

Today's studio time was another session of battling inertia. Sometimes when I work I slip into a good zone and things just flow, while other times it feels more like I'm constantly smacking up against one brick wall after another. Today was more the latter, but I was able to keep busy and not let it ruin my day.

There's a four-panel encaustic I did last year that I never finished and which has been stuck ever since in an "ugly phase". It still has potential, but needs a lot more work. One of the things I don't like about it is the shiny surface it has due to the shellac treatment I did on it last. So today I took the far left panel and tried melting off the wax and shellac like I'd done the other day on the paste/pumice panel. Can't say it improved it any, as you can see here. I decided to keep the torch away from the remaining three panels and set it aside once again for another idea in the future --

A little side-project pictured here. This is a large peeling off a mica rock (I think it's officially called a "book"? Or maybe a "page" of mica?). I was playing around trying to stain it with some pigment --

All weekend I had this idea in my head involving metal sheeting that's been enameled. It's been YEARS since I've played around with enamels, so I'm definitely rusty on technique. Didn't have all the right equipment, either. No pickle, no fiberglass brush, and my enamels have been sitting around for a good decade or more so are "dirty" and need to be washed. But that didn't stop me from playing around. Lately I've been hearing about torch-fired enameling. I've only worked with a kiln but have been wanting to try out the torch (in fact, I'm signed up for a workshop on this in the fall). So I prepared a piece of copper, sprinkled on some enamel and put the torch to it, hoping for the best. Below is the result. I was able to fuse the enamel on the top and bottom, but didn't heat the middle part enough, so once it cooled the powder just blew off. Still, I kind of like the result, especially how the half-baked enamel powder created rivulets along the border (I sort of helped that along, too) --

Not only did the enameled side turn out kind of cool, but the back side was impressive, too. The application of heat created a wonderful heat patina on the copper, pictured below. To the right is another piece of copper that I loosely formed over one of the clay lip sculptures. I did a heat patina on this one too, and then fumed it with some salt and ammonia for the specks of blue-green. Mmmmmmm... gotta love those patinated metals!

mmmmm.. doesn't this look good? Just a pan full of wax scrapings, but beautiful enough to frame. At least I think so. Love the many shades of ivory and those delicate petal-like folds -

Another workday of many different projects. But I like moving between pieces and explorations. When one piece is drying or setting (or cooling down after the torch!) I can pull out another to work on. Keeps me busy and is a nice way to stave off the sort of blockage/inertia that comes up when I'm feeling stuck and without direction.

No clay-play today. Instead, I worked two-dimensionally in a three-dimensional way. That is to say, I did a lot with texture (inspired after looking at all those great Cousins pieces). Started several pieces (one panel and two canvasses) with a thick layer of modeling paste, then tried different ways of creating texture. At one point I was having a lot of success using a dried leaf as a 'paintbrush'. I've never much liked working with paintbrushes. Don't like the marks they leave. It seems that most of the work I do with brushes involves trying to hide all the brushmarks! Maybe I just need to get over it. Or maybe that's just how I work? Anyway, here's one of the texture pieces I worked on today --

Am I creating art? I don't know. That's not the goal anyway. Am I having fun and enjoying the materials and explorations? Most definitely yes! Here's yours truly, holding up the paste/pumice panel in one of it's incarnations today. This was after scraping (and then melting) off most of the wax I'd put on the other day --

Below is what it looked like by the end of the day. Put some layers of oil glaze on, though I have a feeling that might be a no-no on top of wax like this. I guess I'll find out soon enough --

This painting is by artist Christopher Cousins. Amazing work, truly. And following, a quote from his website:

"A true symbol takes us to the center of the circle, not to another point on the circumference. It is by symbolism that man enters effectively and consciously into contact with his own deepest self... "

-- Thomas Merton

Long day in the studio today. Started with the panel I goofed around with last week -- the one with the modeling paste and pumice powder. Thought I'd fire up the wax again for the next step. I so love the smell of that beeswax! Here it is, just starting to heat up -

While the wax was melting I did some more playing with the paste/pumice panel. Got out the propane torch (woohoo!) and worked it over the panel, darkening and browning areas here and there. Then I got out some chalk pastels in a couple of earthy colors and dabbed them on here and there. I have a natural attraction to weathered patina'd surfaces, so that's the direction I found myself moving in --

Didn't get any pictures of the panel with the wax on it (except in the last picture below). But soon I set aside that project and picked up a small (about 2 inches high) face sculpture I did a few months ago. It was sculpted from water clay and simply left to dry. It's not fired. As an experiment I tried dipping the face into the hot wax. I like the result! An interesting surface texture, almost stone-like. The wax filled in the rough areas some and left the high points exposed --

Next I started a new water clay piece. I was going to go for a full face/head scupt, but doing the lips was such a good learning exercise. My knowledge of the structure of the eye is so weak, I figured it'd be a good exercise to just sculpt an eye. Wow -- eyes is TOUGH! Lots going on with planes going this way and that. I really struggled with this and didn't end up with a very good model. Much I need to correct on the next go-around, but here's my first try at an eye sculpt --

This last picture is just me goofing around with various objects in the studio -- the waxed panel from this morning, a couple of lengths from an old folding ruler I took apart last month, an old hand-carved wooden bowl, and the little waxed face in the middle. This isn't a final piece at all. But it speaks to my aesthetic. Maybe the bones for a future work --

Watched a documentary tonight about Christo and Jeanne-Claude's massive installation in Central Park called "The Gates". I'll admit I was skeptical through most of it, as the film traced the history and struggles of the project. Even when I heard about it finally being unveiled a few years ago, my reaction was indifferent, at best. "Why?", I wondered... "what for?" While I could imagine that hundreds of fabric panels blowing in the wind must be a spectacle, maybe even beautiful, I could not appreciate any great meaning to the project other than one artist's hunger for massively bold statements.

The documentary was quite interesting. I had no idea of the nearly insurmountable obstacles that had to be overcome (including just the passage of time -decades- and the accompanying maturity of what can only be described as the collective psyche of New York city). About midway through the film there are scenes of Christo being interviewed publicly at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. When asked to explain the meaning of The Gates he insisted the only reason he embarked on this project was that he wanted to. There was no meaning or purpose other than his own inner urge to realize this vision of his. He was doing it only because he wanted to do it, no matter how irrational it may appear to others. Hearing him say this was a satisfying affirmation for me as this is exactly what I have embarked on, as well. Or what I'm striving for, anyway. To create just from the desire to create... no other purpose or big plan in mind.

The second half of the film is all about the final realization of The Gates, after it's been completely erected and is now a huge installation project over the whole of Central Park. Scene after scene of orange fabric panels, reflecting the light, blowing in the wind, still in the rain, quiet in the snow. Scenes of people walking under and around, looking up into them, curious about what this is, talking to eachother about the experience. Interviews of individuals here and there, giving their reactions and impressions, both positive and negative. As I watched I finally began to appreciate just what a tremendous work of art The Gates really was. Whether Christo actually intended this (and I think he did not -- he was simply being true to his muse) The Gates became something above and beyond the usual paradigm of "art". True to the purpose of art, it engaged people, eliciting reaction and introspection, but it did so on such a hugely grand scale. Although it provided the usual art experience between "viewer" and "art", it also engaged groups of people, whole communities, and an entire city. It challenged people not only to confront the art on their own terms, as individuals, but also as part of any number of larger communities. As such, it became a process of creation BEYOND the physical structures of gates and fabric panels. This is something Christo could not have orchestrated or had a hand in except only indirectly, in following his very personal and individualistic "urge" to create. All of which, for me, is great affirmation of the potential for generative results from simply listening inside and following one's muse, no matter how silly or irrational.

Another mouth study today. This one more open than the others. But I wasn't pleased with it. Wasn't really what I was after, which left me frustrated. Spent the rest of my time today futzing with a panel (painting, not sculpture), but didn't have any of my paints or inks at the studio. Only had white acrylic molding paste and some white pumice powder so I was left to play with texture only. That wasn't a satisfying endeavor either. Finally ended up back with the oil clay head again. More futzing, but still nothing compelling happening. It was just one of those days where inspiration flew out the window and I'm left scratching my head over what to do next. ... blah...

Looked at some art tonight. I went through a bunch of old art magazines, pulling out images of things that grab me visually. I've been doing this for awhile now (a few years?), and like going back to the images I've saved, which I keep in a binder or in folders on my desktop pc. Initially, it was just a way for me to learn about what I liked in art. I really didn't know at the time (talk about a lack of art education). So I started tearing out images from magazines. If something caught my eye and I found myself admiring it, I'd tear out the image and put it in a scrapbook. Nowadays I keep them all in binders -- pages of images I've torn from art magazines.

So tonight was one of those nights.. of paging through a stack of piled up old magazines and pouring over images, thumbing through pages with hardly a glance, trying to find those images that stop me and compel me look again. I found a few, including some from a couple of already-favorites of mine: Cristina Cordova and Jennifer Trask. I love how Cristina's sculptures are emanating an almost mythological psychology. And Jennifer Trask I discovered just the other day in an ad in a recent metals magazine. Very beautiful eye she has. Purely decorative, but her use of materials like teeth and bones and bugs, intermixed so gracefully (and beautifully) with diamonds and gold -- wow.

"... doing without being too attached to the outcome, because the doing is its own outcome."

-- Stephen Nachmanovitch

Thought I would have longer to work today, but was not to be. So here's what an hour can produce. Another quick lip study, smaller this time (and no bottom lip split). Nothing fancy, and again I cannot say just what I'm going after with all of this. But the Nachmanovitch quote above sums up my current work ethic -- it's all about the doing.

Started another new piece. Just lips this time. Pottery (water) clay, once again. I really like the responsiveness. As I was working on the forms of the lips I was moved to split the bottom lip down the center. No reason, really. Just felt like it. Perhaps at a future date the split will be filled with something intriguing? We'll see. I'm not working with any plans at this point. I'm just going with what interests me..

Then I went back to the water clay face I had started earlier in the week. I was a little reluctant to work more on it. Fearful I'd overwork it and it'd end up losing something, but I did it anyway. Just refined some curves and added some realistic subtleties, going for something pleasing. The face, itself, is not very big. Maybe just 5 or 6 inches from chin to forehead.

"Among the welter of material that comes up in an improvisation, we seek to simplify all that doodling and noodling up and down the keyboard and find the answer to the question, 'What is the deep structure of theme, pattern, or emotion from which all this arises?'"

-- Stephen Nachmanovitch

I decided to stop fussing with the oil clay portrait -- the one I've been posting pictures of for awhile now. It had lost it's soul. When I first began it, it was there. But then I got overly concerned with proper anatomy and changed it all around. It lost the emotion it once seemed to carry and became more an exercise in technique than a creative expression (not a bad thing -- it was a good learning exercise, but ultimately was not reflecting what I truly wanted). It was tough to put it aside at first. All that time and effort! But sometimes it's easier to start fresh. Much harder to make changes to something that already has it's structure and bones in place.

For the new piece I decided to go with pottery clay instead of the oil clay. My hand joints were really suffering from the stiff push/pull of the Roma Plastilina. The pottery clay felt so soft and responsive in comparison. Much nicer to work with. I threw all concern for "proper form" out the window and strove instead for a kind of call-and-response work between the clay form and an inner sense of "yes" --

Me and my current anatomy obsession... got a beaut of a skull recently. A new girl for my collection -- a female skull from www.skullduggery.com. Truly an exceptional model. More like a museum specimen than a typical plastic model. In fact, it's not plastic at all. I'm not sure what the material is. Something more akin to plaster or ceramic, which is the only down side. It feels very delicate. I'm sure if it ever got dropped it would shatter into pieces. But I'm not complaining! This skull is absolutely beautiful. I love it. Here are a few side-by-side pictures with my Sawbones skull (on the left). Really highlights the differences.